Fibromyalgia- What it Means To Me
Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness. That is a vague definition. Easy to write and easy to describe. I am not a doctor. I am not a medical provider. I am not a Fibromyalgia expert. But, I am a soulmate of someone who suffers from this disease. This blog I have not done any research, not looked up any definitions, this is just my heart, my soul, telling you unedited what Fibromyalgia is.
Fibromyalgia is a disease that changes who you are on the outside, while causing you to fight and battle who you are on the inside. My soulmate had a medical license, was a homeschooling mother of 7, and a wife of a man who worked over 70 hours a week. She did it all. That is until this disease took its toll. She is barely able to make it out of bed on some days and lucky to be able to work or care for anyone. Knowing that you are not able to be who you once were on the outside, now creates a continuous battle of who you are on the inside. These thoughts, These fights don't come and go, they are with you every hour of every day. Why?
Because with fibromyalgia the pain is constant. You may get some mild relief. You will have some better days than others. But each day, you will have some type of pain, some type of symptom.
Symptom? Yes, I mentioned the word symptom. I should say symptoms. Besides constant pain in your nerves and muscles, fibromyalgia's other symptoms are actually conditions. Interstitial cystitis, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, TMJ, insomnia, anxiety and depression to just name a few. Yes, my soulmate deals with all of these, most on a daily basis.
Anxiety and Depression? All the time. You never know how bad a day is going to be. You never know when your condition is going to cause you to let your family down. That is the anxiety part. The depression? Knowing everyday you wake up, you are going to have to fight and battle at least one of those symptoms all day, just to make it to the next day and do it all over again. This makes most people want to just give up. My soulmate is one of them. The state of our mental health system will not be discussed in this blog, as it is so messed up, it needs a blog just to itself.
Fibromyalgia is not obvious. Most people look pretty normal, and some people have a hard time believing they are really sick. My soulmate has and still does experience this. I experience this as well being a spouse of someone who has it. Most people don't believe me when I tell them how sick she really is.
There is no cure for fibromyalgia. My soulmate has been to every type of specialist. She has been on every type of medicine. The only thing that will at least numb the pain is cannabis. It's illegal where we live. She doesn't have legal medicinal access to it. Something to help her is not allowed, but let's push another pharmaceutical that doesn't work and creates another symptom. Another blog story.
Fibromyalgia requires constant care and fighting on a daily basis. As a spouse of someone who is chronically ill with fibromyalgia, my days are spent trying to figure out how best to care for her, support her, while still financially providing for our family. She needs constant care, but finds herself caring for our children while I am at work. She 's strong and a fighter and she does what she has to do. We can't afford to hire a caretaker, we do not have family near to help us, so it is just the two of us fighting fibromyalgia together.
That is important. Together. We fight this as one. We lean on each other's strength. That is another thing fibromyalgia does. One of the few positive things. It strengthens and unites you together in the battle against pain.
Fibromyalgia. I am writing for the unheard sufferers of chronic pain who are overlooked and not recognized for how hard they have to fight to just live. To just "be" in a world of pain, depression and chaos.
I stand with my soulmate. I support my soulmate. I will do anything for my soulmate in her everyday battle. If you suffer from a chronic illness, I stand with you and support you too.
This is Fibromyalgia. Not a medical textbook definition. This is a true and accurate real life definition by someone who sees it everyday. This is fibromyalgia.
We can't remain silent. We have to fight and let our voices be heard. We need better care and attention for those who are chronically ill. We need a cure. Stand with me. Bring awareness to the chronically ill.
By Michael Walters
The Ancestor's Fire
Writing the voice of the unheard
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